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As we come down from the sugar high

The clocks went back early this morning so when Alex ran into my room at 9:20 this morning I said "Alex, it's only 8:20 am now. See?"

"Oh!" he said "So what should I do?"

"Do you want to climb back into bed with me? Daddy is gone to hockey."

"Sure!" he said. And he jumped right in under the covers.  We were silent for a bit. I think I fell back asleep.

Until he said "Mommy?"

"Um hum..." I mubled.

"If our world, like dis world we live in now, was actually Candyland, what could we do with the lollipops?"

"We could use them as trees!" I said (drawing on my Candyland expereince of ... just last week).

"Yes! That's awesome! Or, or, or we could use them as light fixtures, like that one that hangs over there!"

"That's a great idea, bud!" I told him. "Or, we could use them as brooms to sweep up all the pixie stick dust. Or, as spoons. Or shovels for snow!"

"Oh Mommy," he said in awe. "You are so smart. My God, you're the best!"

This is why Moms are awesome.  We came up with such quick answers to the weirdest, but most adorable Sunday morning questions.

November 01, 2009 in NaBloPoMo, You know you're a Mom when... | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

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Nablopomo - Again

I must be crazy.

Or still recovering from swine flu.

Or really really dedicated to trying to get back into regular blogging.

Back in my day, National Blog Posting Month was only for one month. The month of November.  And you didn't have themes and suggestions and message boards.  Bloggers the world over just said, "Hey, during November you're gonna hear the most inane stuff I can think of.  Just so I can say that I posted every day."

Last time I did Nablopomo was November of 2006.  That was fun, eh?

So let's do it again.

(Some, um, writing ideas would be welcome!)

October 31, 2009 in NaBloPoMo | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

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The Other Side

So we've come out on the other side.

How do I know?

First, Alex woke up this morning and immediately asked for breakfast.

Second, Kristyn and Erin are in their room right now arguing over a pink scarf (that's actually my scarf!).

Third, poor Meghan just walked across the kitchen floor and I told her "Would you pick up your feet? You weigh fifty pounds! How can you make that much noise!?"

I feel relieved and elated and confused.

So many things I don't know.  Can we get it again? Do we still need the vaccine? Will I gain back the five pounds I lost?

All in all, those are minor worries.  I think tonight I will sleep without waking to go into their rooms to check their breathing.  I might actually make a real dinner.  We might go outside for a walk.  I might wear a bra!

And I'm back at work tomorrow.  John takes over from here - which is fine by me. They're sweet and quiet when their sick. They're loud and annoying when they're well.

Have fun tomorrow and Friday, Babe!

October 28, 2009 in You know you're a Mom when... | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)

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Yes, we have it.

H1N1 that is.

Or Swine Flu.

Whatever you want to call it. (I've checked several sources and they are both, in fact, different names for the same virus).

It started with me last Tuesday.   I had just come in from my usual day of hell.  Work, music classes, soccer pick ups and a short run to make me feel human.  I noticed a tickle in my throat. I swallowed once and it was like fire.  By 9pm, I ached all over.  I whined all Wednesday, my usual day off and by 6pm was flattened on the couch.

I've barely left the house since.

Since that first day, all four of my kids have taken that same sudden downward spiral.  They've been fine one minute (and I mean, jumping off the couch). Then an hour later, moaning and coughing and saying they've never been this sick.  The only time I've seen Alex fall asleep in the middle of the day has been when he had Kawasaki disease.  Last night John texted me from the hospital saying Alex had fallen asleep on him on the way in.

I wish I had some wisdom for you. Something to say to you.  "This is what you should do" or "This is why I did this".   But I can't.  I think we got bullshit lucky taking Erin in to the doctor when we did.  It seems when one doctor hears that a colleague gave you Tamiflu, they follow suit without question.  We've had two well known doctors, who know their stuff, tell us that even without testing us that we have H1N1.

This virus is no joke.  We have never been this ill. I have now missed four days of work and I will be missing four more.  I'm not sure what of those hours I will get paid for (I have set guaranteed hours and extra hours I pick up every week).   My kids will miss a week or more of school.  

Two weeks ago I was on the fence about the vaccine.  Those of you who know me know how I approach vaccines. You know which ones I do and which ones I don't and you know why.  I have no medical education to speak of (except for Google Med School of course), but I know this - I would undoubtedly get the vaccine now.   Same goes for the seasonal flu shot.  We will be lining up with our sleeves up.

My heart is aching for families who have lost.  You can tell yourself  "It's just a few people", but what if it was your people?  It may seem like hype, and yes a lot of it is, but it's very real in this house.  My eyes are dark with worry, my sleep fitful and full of nightmares.  I see my kids labouring to stay awake and I know, without a doubt, that I would do anything to keep them safe.

October 27, 2009 in Blogging, General, You know you're a Mom when... | Permalink | Comments (9) | TrackBack (0)

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Ontario Report Cards; Bafflegab Or Useful Insight?

The most exciting thing about my kids starting school was getting The School Report Card.  It has something to do with my inherent geekiness and extreme need to hear how amazing my kids are, but I could not wait for the first report card.  Indeed, each one since then comes with a few days of excitement on my part.  I just can't wait for that yellow legal-sized envelope to appear in their agendas.  I pour a cup of tea and rip that sucker open the minute they get in the door.

And then I spend the next hour or so trying to decipher just what the teacher is trying to say to me.

I've often said, quite loudly, that my child's grade is of little importance to me - it's the teacher's comments that I go to right away.  The grade is a number and if it's representative of the work they've done, I'm thrilled.  The comments though, that's where the gold is.  The spot where I expect to hear just how much Ms Teacher loves my child. 

But have you noticed? There seems to be a short list of predetermined catch phrases embedded in each section of the comments.  I'm not sure if they're specifically written that way, but we've been involved in two school boards in the last ten years and the terminology has been almost exactly the same across the board.

"With consider effectiveness..."

"With a high degree of accuracy..."

"She confidently identified..."

""With consistent accuracy..."

And the one that baffles me the most "She should continue to develop communication ability using simple language." 

What does that mean?  That she is well developed and on her way to becoming above average? Or does it mean that this is an area she needs to work on? 

Report card language has sometimes gotten to the point where I just skim and tell myself I'll go back to it later.  Not to mention one year (not in our current board and no I won't tell you the teacher) I clearly caught a teacher in a cut and paste gaffe when she used another child's name in my daughter's report card.

I remember the report cards I got as a child.  The most common sentiment was "Chantal is a very bright child who does well on her work. However, if she paid more attention and stopped talking so much, her grades would be near perfect." 

You can't get more to the point than that, can you?  And no, my mother never took offense because, and here it is, it was true!  Year after year, teacher after teacher, the same thing was said. 

Over the past few years I've often wondered if there is a certain guideline that comes with the preparation of report cards?  Is there strict language to follow?  Are teachers given any space with which to include candid remarks?  Are my kids so shockingly normal that there has never been a need for this? 

I know I'm not alone in this.  Howard Goodman, a Toronto School Board Trustee is tabling a motion this Wednesday to do away with this jargon.  As outlined in this article (I also heard him on CBC radio on Thursday)  at Parent Central.

Read the article. Let me know what you think as a parent. I would also love to hear if you're a teacher.  I can only imagine what it's like to prepare report cards for so many children three to four times a year, so let me know what you think.

October 10, 2009 in Blogging, General, Current Affairs, You know you're a Mom when... | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

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Alexisms

Alex: "This Lego man is named Super Tom. This Lego man is named Massive Mike. This Lego Man is named Insane Alex!  This Lego man is named Leon."

Me: "Why is that one just named Leon?"

Alex:  "When was the last time you met a fun guy named Leon?"

_____________________________________________

Alex:  "Mommy, when I grow up and get big I'm gonna get a big glass of maple syrup.  Then I'm gonna get a straw. Then I'm gonna take the straw and put it in the syrup. Then I'm gonna gulp all that syrup down."

Me: "Why would you do that, Alex?"

Alex: "Because maple syrup is way better than milk or juice or all that stuff you only let me drink."

_____________________________________________

Alex:  "Whoa!  That girl is a hottie!"

Erin and Meghan: "Ew! Gross. Mommy Alex is using inappropriate language about girls!"

Me:  "Alex, do you even know what a hottie is?"

Alex:  "Of course.   A hottie is a pretty girl. You're a total hottie, Mommy."

Me: "Yes, Alex, you're absolutely right. Carry on."

_____________________________________________

Alex:  "Ew. What's that smell? It smells like Daddy's farts!"

Me:  "How do you know it's Daddy's farts and not mine?"

Alex: "Because Mommy, everyone in this family has their own smell and that's not yours. That's all Daddy.  God, he's awesome at farting!"

______________________________________________

Notice what's missing?  The way I've written his speech? He still has some difficulties when he talks too fast or is too tired, but I can longer write in the cute way he used to talk when he was delayed. He was released from speech therapy through the school last week because he's done so awesome over the summer.  I am so proud of him. Even if what comes out of his mouth is foul and hilarious, at least he's saying it correctly, right?

October 03, 2009 in My kids fascinate and frustrate me | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

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Bullety Edition 46; Short and Sweet

  • One of my daughters talks so fast and loud it can be tiring. She's always exhilarated and ecstatic when she does it, but it can drive me wild listening to it for thirty minutes straight when she gets home from school. 

  • Our house has not sold yet. Yes, I expected it to take a while to sell. Yes, we are in it for the long haul (we might pull it down over the winter).  Still, I'm getting antsy.  I'm not a patient person. I want this part to be over with.  Will you buy it?

  • The most exciting thing to happen to me of late?  I got a Blackberry. I shit you not, this has been the highlight of my fall.  I know how sad that it. I also know that I have no real need for one besides wanting one.  But for csrissake,  I don't eat a lot of junk food, I don't smoke or have any real vices to speak of.  Let me have my constant need for social networking, okay?

  • I know I haven't had much to say lately. Remember when I used to write constantly?  Remember when I used to write well?  Posts like The Welfare House,  Stop Compaining, He Doesn't Just Drink His Milk, He Dives Right In and Toilet Hostage?  I think my mojo is gone. Have you seen it?

September 27, 2009 in Bullety | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

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Sunday Morning Run

This Playlist lasts roughly one hour (59 minutes 17 seconds) and is perfect if you're planning a 10K. 

It's hip-hop/electronic heavy cause I need that on a Sunday morning. It starts with a nice pop melody and ends with what I think is the perfect caboose song.

  1. You Get What You Give, The New Radicals
  2. Boom Boom Pow, The Black Eyed Peas
  3. Bring The Noise (Pump-kin Remix), Public Enemy Vs Benny Benassi
  4. Dead And Gone, T.I. Featuring Justin Timberlake
  5. The Fixer, Pearl Jam
  6. Got To Rock, DJ Vadim Featuring Zion
  7. I'm In Miami Bitch, LMFAO
  8. I'm Not Your Boyfriend Baby, 3OH!3
  9. Major Tom, Shiny Toy Guns
  10. Show Me, Mint Royale
  11. Trapped In The New Scene, Octoberman
  12. We Made You, Eminem
  13. Yes, LMFAO
  14. Don't Look Back In Anger, Oasis

September 06, 2009 in Music, Running, Gym, Trying to keep my ass in check | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

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Every Inch Of This House

I used to joke that I spent twenty-seven hours a day in this house and that you couldn't hide anything from me.

While I now work outside the house eight of those twenty-seven hours, you still can't get anything past me here.  I know every inch of this house. Every sound, every creak and every hiding spot.

Want to know where your white and black striped lucky soccer sock is? It's in the pile of mismatched socks in the rickety old basket on the top shelf of the linen closet.

Where is that broken Indiana Jones Lego figurine who's missing the hat and one leg?  He's under your captains bed. No, not in the drawer. You have to squeeze between your bed and the wall and make your way into the dirty underbelly of that bed. He's there, next to that empty bag of marshmallows you think I don't know about.

What was that sound at 3am? The backwash of our water softener.

Who took your blue sweater?  I saw it in Kristyn's backpack, so it must be her.

Why won't the tub drain?  There's a Lego Indiana Jones leg stuck in there.

Who ate all the marshmallows? Alex. Look under his bed.

I can tell you if the front door or back door just slammed. Which sliding door was opened. Which toilet just flushed.

You just can't get anything past me. Even if I'm not here, I'll find out.

August 30, 2009 in What did I just step in?, You know you're a Mom when... | Permalink | Comments (2)

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Bullety Edition 45; Wait. What?

  • I got stung by a wasp this weekend.  I haven't been stung by a wasp since I was a teenager. These things were everywhere and one of them managed to make it's way up my shirt.  Which, really? The boobs? They're just not as nice as they were the last time I got stung.  Let me tell you though, getting stung, under your shirt, it's hurts like a sonofabitch!  Not only that, but I got woozy!  And I was coaching a soccer game!  It's not inspiring to the parents to see the coach almost keeled over on the other side of the field. They take that personally.

  • Last week, my benefits kicked in at work.  This means, of course, that my family can feel free to get as sick as it wants now.  John is excited that we don't have to ask for the generic brand anymore!  Only the best for our maladies!  Getting benefits reminds me of a funny story I have to remember to tell you at some point. Let's just say I use the word "mange" in a conversation with someone I barely know.  And yes, I was alluding to the fact that I hope to get mange in this conversation.  True story. Ask Lianne.

  • Please comment to me if you're watching Big Brother 11? Please tell me you agree that Jeff is the hottest reality TV contestant ever.  Do you remember the first show? Where he left his Catholic paraphernalia at home so as not to come off judgmental and preachy? If that's not the epitome of hot, I don't know what is.  Boy smokes and I don't even care! You have to be insanely fine for me to excuse smoking.

  • When do your kids start back to school?  We're not headed back until September 8th here.  If you're starting earlier, don't get too green - my kids will be in classes til next July!

August 25, 2009 in Bullety | Permalink | Comments (6)

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